How to Improve Your Wealth as a Couple

We all know that being in a relationship is hard work and involves good communication, flexibility and a willingness to grow and learn from each other.

One of the biggest challenges in a relationship comes down to money and wealth creation as a couple.

Over the years I have noticed for many there is a huge breakdown in communication for most couples in the area of money management and wealth creation. This can be due to one partner earning more money and wanting to control what they earn, bad beliefs around money or even a fear around money and the loss of it.

 

Here are some of the top tips when it comes to working together as a couple to create greater wealth creation.

 

1. Communication is essential

I know this seems really obvious yet most couples struggle to communicate effectively which leads to arguments, hiding things from each other and fear of upsetting one another. This will never work to get ahead financially nor will it help to build trust and security in a relationship. It is a must to learn how to communicate about each other’s goals for the future, fears, concerns and also to keep each other accountable to the forward growth of the relationship and finances.

 

2. Set goals individually and communicate about them together

It is important to set goals as an individual in all areas of life including finances then come together as a couple to communicate effectively between each other and work out how as a couple you can work together to help each other achieve the goals you want. This may involve multiple conversations on the topic as now 2 separate individuals come together to communicate what is important to them in life and also what will help fulfill them. It may even lead to a few disagreements but your ability to work together and help each other will determine your ability to help each other thrive in life.

 

3. Create a plan or strategy for wealth building and stick to it……..NO MATTER WHAT!

If you thought the first 2 were going to be hard then this is can be a little more challenging. You have to create a system for building wealth and stick to it. Over the years when I have taught the wealth principles that allowed myself and my fiancé to break free financially. Many often follow the system well at first, only to give up when times get hard. This is why most people struggle financially as they take the easy option when things get challenging and not stay committed to the commitments they have made as an individual or a couple to be financially abundant. This is usually a problem relating to the next area.

 

4. Work on your mind.

When I first started going to seminars, reading self-help books and learning about myself, most of my friends said it was stupid and dumb. Now they call me lucky.

Your mind is the greatest tool you have in wealth creation and also to creating an empowered and fulfilling life yet most don’t value their mind, nor do they prioritise the growth and expansion of it, hence why most people struggle not just financially but in life. Warren Buffett (one of the world’s richest people) stated he reads for at least 5 hours per day. Personally as a coach I have found that the vast majority of multi-millionaire clients I have had over the years dedicate time to learn from experts in their chosen fields either through seminars, workshops, coaches, mentors or just associating with people with expansive knowledge.

If you think about it, you spend your entire life living in your mind yet most people don’t think that if they improve their mind they can improve their results in life over time.

 

5. What you prioritise, grows.

It has been said that where mental focus goes energy flows and where energy flows, growth happens. This is true with wealth creation. It is essential that couples create a time each week to sit down, discuss finances, potential problems, goals and also to manage the flow of money. Over the last few years I book time in my diary every week on Tuesday night to sit with my partner who is the main money manager in the relationship as she is more detailed and methodical that I am, and we discuss the month coming, potential financial issues that may occur and we talk about our future goals and what we need to do to keep achieving them.

 

WRAP UP

With the number one cause of divorce in Australia being noted as financial stress, problems or indifferences, making sure as a couple you work together, grow together and have clear communication is a high priority. Over time your partner will become your greatest asset in wealth creation as you will work as a team to both challenge and support each other in your financial endeavours.

5 Quick Ways to Build Self-Worth

Most people think self worth is natural to those who have it. But it’s built over time. Here are some of the fastest ways to build self worth.

1.Plan your future.
Due to most people having busy lives, as a result they become reactive to day to day tasks and forget to plan their future. This then forces most people to become reactive to external circumstances and not proactive in the growth of their own goals. Over time reacting to external circumstances and the wishes of everyone else will cause a rapid decline in self worth and self belief.

 

2. Live your values
Self worth comes down to self value and self value is created from living your true values. Most people mistake values with social ideals such as kindness, honour, love, honesty etc. It is because of this confusion in values that many people give up on their values, opting for trying to make others happy by living to social ideals. Your values are your intrinsic priorities in life that lead to lasting fulfillment, not momentary happiness. The more a person lives their values the more self worth, self love and self appreciation they will have, along with fulfillment in life.


3. Commitment is an action, not an idea.
Most people commit to their goals and dreams when everything in life is going well but usually break their commitments especially when it comes to living their goals and dreams. Every time you break a commitment to yourself you are affecting your self worth which will slowly reduce your courage to take on challenges when they arise in the future. Those who achieve great things in this world along with those who are truly fulfilled in life commit to their growth even if that means taking on challenges that scare them or staring fear in the face. Achievers commit and stay committed to their growth, goals and dreams when hard. Dreamers just commit to things when everything is easy and usually back out of their commitments when times are hard.


4. Prioritise yourself first
Leaders and change makers in this world are those who know that in order to give to others you first have to give to yourself. Many in our society give everything to everyone else around them leaving nothing for themselves making themselves a martyr. True leaders know that you can only give what you have and this includes your love and worth.

 

5. Do the things that scare you
Many people in our society want a comfortable life yet making comfortable choices in the moment can lead to lifetime of struggle. Those with increasing self worth focus on their life purpose, mission and goals. It is because of this they do the things that scare them in the moment only to increase their self worth and self belief over time. Doing what scares you is not about taking uncalculated risks. It’s about thinking ahead and doing the things that scare you today to live a greater tomorrow. By taking on challenges and succeeding, your self belief will grow along with your self worth.

 

FINAL NOTE:

Self worth isn’t created by physical things, including the way you look, the house you live in, the car you drive or the size of your muscles. It comes from within. It is a greater belief in yourself over time which over time will increase self worth and this will eventually lead to self love.

 

“It’s your time to thrive”

All or nothing? It usually means nothing or poor results

Are you one of those all or nothing people?

I used to be until I found out my all or nothing mentality caused me to self-sabotage and self-destruct.

 

Here is why…

 

The all or nothing mentality is usually confined to those with high expectations in life.

This means one of two things.

 

They usually only do things that are working 100%. For example, these types of people will start a new gym training or exercise regime on Monday morning after they spent all day Sunday buying new exercise clothes, buying fresh food, reading health articles, preparing their food for the week and making sure everything is perfect for their new journey to great health.

Everything will work well for a few days until the first slip up. This will then cause a barrage of self-sabotaging behaviours that will be justified as starting fresh tomorrow or next Monday. This will continue to happen until….

 

They lower their expectations with a justification that nothing ever seems to work or everything is too hard. They begin to give all self-power, self-control and self-responsibility away. They then begin to justify that whatever happens in life they are just a victim of circumstance which they have no influence or control over.

 

The all or nothing mentally is one of the fastest ways to achieve nothing or even if you do achieve something it will be unfulfilling.

 

It’s important to understand that challenges always occur on the journey to greater success and that lasting achievement happens when a person understands that slip ups and mistakes are inevitable. By being someone who makes a mistake then takes responsibility for their mistake by learning from them and continuing on their journey, leads to the creation on new habits. It’s those habits that create lasting results.

 

Master your mind, master your life

 

 

Why improving your health can feel almost impossible

In the age of rapid weight loss, fast food and overnight success most people buy into the ideal that fast results equal instant happiness.

 

How many times have you heard, “If I just win the lottery, then I’ll be happy”. “If I just lose a few kilos, then I’ll be happy”. “If I just meet the right partner, then I’ll be happy”.

 

Happiness does not come from the result, but from the obstacles you have to overcome on the way to achieving the result.

 

Most people forget that in most circumstances, easy up usually equals easy down. Rapid weight loss usually equals rapid weight gains and the perfect health….. well….. just doesn’t exist.

 

For many the search for rapid results leads most down the path of a lot of failures hence why they begin to believe that nothing seems to work. However, the simplest, easiest and most effective tips and tools for improving your health go unappreciated like daily exercise, healthy foods, fresh air and lots of water.

 

Weight loss and improved health is 80-90% mental and emotional game and a 10-20% physical game. Most people will admit that they know what to do to improve their health, yet they do not do it.

 

This just proves that it is not due to a lack of health understanding but a lack of mental and emotional training and understanding.

 

Change your mind and change your life.

 

 

 

 

Is trying to improve your health killing your self worth?

Improving your health can be a challenge, but is it killing your self worth?

 

Most people start their health journey to impress others or to feel accepted by others. Not truly because it is part of their life purpose, life mission or matches their highest values.

This is usually self evident when the person starts their health journey when everything is going well but as soon as a challenge arises the person begins to self-sabotage.

 

Self-sabotage is usually a clear sign that something isn’t in alignment with a person’s true highest values or life purpose.

 

This is a challenging topic as most people that attend my live events state they have no clear idea as to what their true values, are nor what their life purpose or life mission is.

This makes it extremely hard for anyone to achieve lasting results or attain lasting fulfilment with what they do. It usually causes a person to also value the opinion of others more than they value themselves.

 

Each time a person commits to achieving a goal that isn’t aligned with their values, mission or life purpose they have a high likelihood of self sabotage. Each time that person self sabotages their goals, it usually causes a flooding of emotions such as guilt, anger, resentment, hate etc. The more a person does this, the more their self-worth will get smashed to pieces.

 

Eventually that person will ask themselves: “What’s the point of trying as I always seem to fail, self sabotage or give up?”

It’s not because the person is a failure, it’s just because the person has no idea who they truly are, so they don’t know what is truly important to them or why.

Once a person has clarity around who they really are by knowing their values, life mission and life purpose, then they can take the next step of creating goals that align with their true calling. Rather than making decisions to impress others or feeling like it’s the right thing to do. This will also massively reduce the likelihood of self sabotage.

 

QUICK EXERCISE:

Here is a quick exercise I show to those who attend my live 4 day Thrive Time event where I help attendees get clear on their life purpose, life mission and values.

It’s best to do this exercise before you go to bed each night as the frontal lobe (creative part) of the brain is highly active.

Before you go to bed each night, for 30 days, write 10 reasons why improving your health is important to you.

This will begin to link health and being healthy to your own highest values.

 

Below is an example:

  • Great health is important to me because…………….
  • Great health is important to me because it gives me great energy to connect with my kids.
  • Great health is important to me because it allows me to feel good about myself and build my self worth
  • Great health is important to me because it allows me to manage my moods and not get tired and frustrated.

Give it a shot and let me know how you go.

Common mistakes most people make when trying to improve their health.

For most people, spring is the time where they look in the mirror and think……

“Oh S#$t!

What happened over winter!”

 

Their clothes don’t fit,

They notice that it’s time to start taking off their winter woollies, which reveals their bad health habits over winter and has resulted in an unhealthy winter body with extra padding.

 

Although physical appearance is something that causes most people to begin to think about their health, many only start taking their physical health seriously when diagnosed with some form of physical ailment or dis-ease.

 

For most, pain is their motivator.

 

It could be the pain of being judged by others, the fear of not feeling good enough or being happy within.

It may even be the fear of death from a disease or loss of normal function.

 

What most people don’t understand is that if you use pain as your motivator then as you start to improve your health the pain will decrease and hence so will the motivation.

Due to the decrease in pain, a person motivated by pain will slowly begin to make decisions that self sabotage their health journey. This will eventually lead to that person going back to their old habits in which the pain will increase again.

 

It will be a continuous circle of the pain of poor health or poor results followed by starting a new journey to improving health. As their health starts to improve they begin to self-sabotage again. It is a merry–go-round of new health kicks, diets, exercise plans and health coaches yet the journey continually ends in the same place of feeling guilty, angry and defeated.

 

This is why I recommended to anyone who wants to improve their health that until they change the way they think they will never truly master long sustaining health habits. Usually the mind is the most undertrained and underprepared part a person’s health journey yet is the number reason why most people fail to achieve lasting results.

 

The average person will spend money on a personal trainer, a gym membership, buy over priced supplements, organic food, over priced clothing and shoes to look the part yet spend $0 on their quest to master their mind which is the common link between all their past failures in gaining lasting health results.

 

Most people’s past, learned behaviours control the way they think, which is why they usually end up in the situation they are in.

Unless a person is prepared to work on their mind and value it over their physical results then most just continue to repeat past patterns over and over again which leaves them feeling disempowered with low self worth and a lack of self belief.

 

Forget clearing your cupboards and buying the latest supplements and exercise equipment from late night tv. Focus on mastering your mind.

 

Master your mind and master your life.

 

 

 

Why “Selfish” People Are Happier & More Successful

Being selfish is wrong, right? It’s what most of us are taught as children. But, what if being selfish is actually one of the key ingredients to success?

The path to success and achieving our goals and dreams is often challenging and takes hard work, energy, dedication and focus. It isn’t always easy.

It’s also the reason why many people fail to see their dreams become a reality – they don’t have the time, they are too tired, they get side tracked, or maybe they are simply too busy focusing on meeting other people’s needs or expectations to put the time and energy required into their own dreams.

 

Yet, everyone was born to thrive. Fulfilling our dreams, living with a sense of purpose and with a mission is fundamental to our experience of what it means to be human. When we thrive, we encourage those around us to thrive too.

 

So, how can you make sure you succeed and that you can dedicate the time, energy, focus and hard work required to overcome the obstacles between you and your dream? It’s simple – learn to be selfish.

 

  1. Learn to say ‘No’

 

Learning to say no can be hard at first. People who have come to expect you to be there for them all the time, every time, may be offended or hurt when you react differently to how you usually would.

 

You deserve to achieve your dreams though, just as much as they do. If you are constantly meeting the needs of others, you will have less energy, less time and less focus to spend on doing the things that you need to, to live the life that you desire.

 

This doesn’t mean that you have to stop helping people or stop enjoying the pleasure of being generous and connecting with others. It just means that sometimes, you have to take stock of what you need (be it an early night, heading to the gym, time to make a nutritious meal or just an opportunity to reflect and take in the sunset), and then do that thing before you say ‘yes’ to fulfilling someone else’s needs.

 

  1. Lose the guilt

 

Guilt and fear of letting someone else down is a big factor in why and how we may wind up at our third family dinner in a week instead of working on our dreams, or why we end up listening for hours on end to a friend complaining about their boss instead of listening to a motivational podcast to help us grow. It is natural for us, as humans, to want to connect and to be ‘there’ for our friends and family. In fact, it is one of the 6 main human needs.

 

But feeling a little guilt short-term while you learn to say ‘no’ is nothing compared with the sadness and regret you may feel long term when you look back and realise that you haven’t achieved your goals because you’ve been too busy doing things for everyone else.

 

  1. Set boundaries – and stick to them

 

Setting boundaries will help you to balance achieving your needs, with the needs of others. It can also help you to lose the guilt. For example, try putting a time limit on things. After listening to your friend for 20 minutes, wrap up the call. Reassure her that you’re there for her but explain that you’ve got other commitments.

 

  1. Keep commitments to yourself

 

Plan to succeed. If you’re busy (and who isn’t?) set aside time in your calendar to do the things you need to do to achieve your dreams.

 

This could be as simple as putting time aside to go to the gym, or scheduling in some ‘me time’. Whatever it is that you plan to do for yourself, or whatever action you plan to take toward your dreams, remember that you’ve planned it for a reason. If your friend rings up looking for help to move house on the day you’ve scheduled to attend a seminar, keep the commitment to yourself! It is no less important than helping your friend.

 

  1. Remind yourself of the bigger picture

 

Finally, when you’re saying ‘no’ it can help to remind yourself of the bigger picture – your purpose in life is to thrive, and bring your unique talents to the world. If you look after yourself first, you’ll be looking after others, too.